Why do you call me the light of the world...?

Why do you call me the light of the world when all things around me turn black?

Why do you claim that my smile lights the way when I just feel the need to turn back?

How can you love me when all I do just turns from a dream to dust?

How can I polish the silver when all I can see is rust?

How can you give me everything when nothing is what I deserve?

How can you tell me that I am your dream when life has lost it's nerve?

How can I fix the unfixable?
How can I make you mine?
How can I change the unthinkable
And still come out with time?

Time to make you happy...
Time to make you proud...
Time to make you want me...
To shout my name out loud...

Without you I am nothing...
The dirt along the ground...
Long gone the inspiration of which you were so proud...

A long time dead the shining smile behind the laughing eyes...
I know not how to win you back...
I fear my time is nigh...

I cling on for security
I know not where I'd be
Without you here beside me
My life, my soul, my tree...

Reaching out your branches,
Like loving arms to mine,
Entwine my heart you mighty oak,
For it is ever thine...

No Wonder I'm Tired!!!

Did some accounts, paid some bills, did some washing, took some rubbish out, made packed lunch for Isaac and his friend... prepared a Phoenix order, collected some stuff from the caravan, picked up said friend up from Riccall and dropped off Isaac and friend to go fishing at Skipwith... then I drove Emily into York for enrollment at college (yay Emily!), bought a birthday present for my nephew and drove Emily home from college... Next I collected the boys from fishing, prepared 20 brochures and invitations for a Butterfly Party, wrapped a parcel for a friend and took it to the Post Office... I then took three bags and a box full of obsolete stuff to the tip along with an old computer then I cleaned out the car boot, made tea for Isaac and friend, drove to Biggin to see a customer, took friend home to collect his skateboard, drove Isaac and friend to Skaterbeach... Then I drove home, dropping boys off on the way and when I got home I cooked tea for Emily, John and myself and collapsed on the sofa wondering how come I’m so tired!

This entry has been idling in my drafts folder for I don't know how long, so I thought I'd post it... just in case anyone else had days like this and could seek solace in the fact that they are not the only ones!

Saying Boo...

Sometimes it is required of a person to be strong, to stay calm and to maintain composure at all times...In tight or uncomfortable situations it is the only way to get the result you want and deserve...

But sometimes, after being strong and calm and composed... all you want to do is cry... I cried today...

Pain...

Sometimes my body, sometimes in my heart,
On my mind and in the dark...

Sometimes on purpose, sometimes not...
Sometimes remembered, sometimes forgot!

Pain in my heart is the worst pain of all,
It strikes me down from nowhere at all,
I stand tall and strong and I try to take heed,
But it gnaws at me inside and on me it feeds...

I try to resist and I smile but again,
It strikes me down...
Leaving me to my pen...

So I share the tale of my pain and my ache...
And I hope by the morrow my ail is forsake...

So True...

You never stop laughing because you get old... You grow old because you stop laughing!

Don't leave it so long...

Wow! We just got back from a short break in the sun with friends - our first sunshine holiday since 1987! Why on earth did we leave it so long?

We went to Magalluf to celebrate Claire's 40th - its a place that she and Steve know well and the invitation to join them was very welcome. A sunshine holiday - I could barely contain my excitement!

I love flying and the flight over went very well but the part I was waiting for was to walk out of the airport and feel warm sunshine on my skin... it was bliss!

The feeling of waking up each day and knowing that the sky would be blue, the sun would be out and that we could wear what we wanted and not be cold... it was just the best feeling...

With bare arms and bare legs we went exploring, it was fabulous! Sunshine, real sunshine! Warm and calming and relaxing... It was just gorgeous! The sand was white, the ocean was the clearest, deepest blue and the sky was absolutely cloudless...

Needless to say we lost our inhibitions and gave ourselves over to the sun...

Five days was not enough and I would go back in a hearbeat!

To all of you...

Eenie meanie miny mo, 
Be you friend or be you foe,
I wish no ill,
I wish no strife,
Just want you back on track with life,

Plan it, Love it, Seize the Day...
Hard at work and hard at play... 

Read it, read into it...
Think what you will,
I love you all...
And I always will... xXx

Hope from No Hope...

Look and then see...
Seek and then find...
Finally all becomes calm in your mind...

Clarity rules...
Calm overtakes...
Finally, sense of the nonsense it makes...

Silence...

Silence is golden so they say,
Silence can banish your woes away,

Silence is still like the new days dawn,
Silence can bring a forbidding morn...

Silence is nothing but stillness and calm,
This I tell myself and wait to get warm...

Warm from the noise of the text and the chatter,
Warm from the comfort of light-hearted banter,
Warm from the kisses and warm from the smiles...
From out of the silence and over the miles...

Jealousy...

Once upon a time there was a monster...

On the outside she was kind and caring and tried to do everything she could to help everyone...

On the inside she was green... an ugly green... she was rampant and wild-eyed and scared...

Scared that the man she loved would find comfort in the arms of another...

Until one day... without rhyme or reason... the jealous, writhing monster just vanished...

... and left behind was a calm and caring person who just knew that her man loved her...

...and that was enough!

It's nice to be wanted :-)

I had an email out of the blue from Mighty Aphrodite... you may remember them... I will never forget them...

Zena asked me if I would consider sharing my story with their readers... so I agreed!

Here is my story...

At the beginning of 2008 I had a shaggy shapeless mop of hair and had been wearing glasses since the age of seven! I was a busy working Mum with no time for myself and had been that way for over fifteen years!!

So what happened? My daughter happened! She and I both love Gok Wan and his way of making a girl look again at the way she sees herself. As my 40th birthday approached I became obsessed with my age and everything else paled into insignificance! Eventually, my 15 year old daughter, Emily, suggested that I get a grip, have a new haircut and lose the glasses! So I did!

She came with me to the hairdressers and the hair went! I loved it! Why didn't I do this years ago?? Next I saw the optician and swapped my glasses for contact lens… I haven't looked back since! I even bought make-up and used it!

I felt so different that I wanted to have a portrait done ... but that wasn't enough... I wanted more... I thought of Gok… and I found Mighty Aphrodite!

The idea of a naked photo shoot was firmly planted in my head and wouldn't go away! Don't get me wrong - I am rather timid really - but I simply couldn't shake the idea and felt that if I was really going to make a statement then I should just go for it! I bravely dropped it into conversation one day... and got a resounding yes!

There were so many beautiful photos on their website but I just couldn't get away from one particular image ...

... a girl, naked, bound by chains, suspended in darkness ...

... that was it - the more I dared myself the more I wanted to do it…so I decided to be brave and have a go!

If truth be told I never thought I would actually do the whole naked thing and hoped to come away with a few nice lingerie shots ...

... in fact, when the day came, I allowed myself to follow my heart ... I dared to be brave!

Leigh was great - really down to earth and he made me feel completely at my ease! Nothing awkward or forced and it was really rather fun ;-) Zena was fab too and her compliments and easy manner made me completely relax!

The lighting was carefully done and Leigh knew exactly which shots would flatter me! I bravely told him which shot had inspired me and he said that there was no reason why I couldn’t go for it… I was braver than I dared to hope ... and I am so pleased with the results!

My fantastic hubby, John, was with me for the whole shoot and he thought it was fabulous! He was so proud of me and spent the whole time grinning from ear to ear!

It took all my courage but I did it! I got naked in front of a stranger and had him take photos of me! It was the wildest, most scarey thing I had ever done but it was great!!

The photos gave me the confidence to do what girls do best… shopping! Previously I had been a frustrated shopper, looking for clothes which covered me up and hid the parts I didn't want to show! But now... I looked for tops which showed my shape, I wasn’t afraid of wearing things a little more fitted and I tried on high heel shoes - it felt good - really good!

My confidence soared and I started thinking about my life and about other things I wanted to do... You simply wouldn’t believe where this journey has taken me… ;-)

If you follow my blog I might decide to share a little more...

Friends...

Friends are the family we choose for ourselves... they are the people we choose to spend time with... the people we love...

They are the ones who are always there for you... always offering their shoulder or needing yours...

... and whatever they do they are always forgiven... :)

You know who you are... xxx

If you don't laugh...

..You'll cry!

It's an old expression but what it means is 'put on a brave face, keep smiling and everything will be just fine'

Sometimes the most frustrating of occasions can make you want to cry... so you do what you have to do, you put on a brave face, you smile and you carry on...

... then when you think nobody can see you, that's when you cry... because if you don't let the tears out sometimes you drown...

Hurting...

In times of trouble,
The pain strikes hard,
Straight to the heart of me,
Floored, by a yard...

Where did it come from,
Where will it go,
Will we survive this,
Nobody knows...

I pray for calm,
Beware the storm,
Look for the new light,
And wait for the dawn...

Heartwrenching Beauty...

It brings us together,
It keeps us apart,
We love it,
We hate it,
It tugs at our heart...

But when it falls softly and gently and slow...
We can't help but marvel,
At the wonder of snow...

When it's right to wait...

Sometimes my heart and my head are at loggerheads as to what to do...

My impulsive and emotional heart says 'Do it! Do it NOW! Everything will be fine, don't worry!'

My grounded head says 'No! You mustn't! It's not worth the risk! What if...'

Usually my head wins but sometimes, just sometimes... I wish my heart would win instead...

Another Dream Delivered...

I just passed a van on the M62... Nothing unusual in that you might think!

But this van belonged to a motorcycle company and their slogan was 'Another Dream Delivered'...

What a fantastic phrase...

Imagine what it feels like to make someones dream come true, let alone to do it again (ANOTHER dream delivered...) Wow! What a great motto!

John and I always fancied touring in Europe on a big old cruiser... I hope that this dream that will be delivered...

Stepping Stones...

Everything that happens to you in life is a stepping stone. It might be a step up or a step over but it's still a stepping stone!

If you feel like something is taking you backwards, then maybe you missed your way and need to take a different road.

Look up, smile and move on!

Life is good! :-)

Amsterdame10 - Day Two

This is the day I was looking forward to the most and now I find it is the day I am least looking forward to writing about...

The ride from the ferry at Rotterdam, to the hostel at Amsterdam, was strewn with mishaps and little did we know, as we set off in high spirits, just what the day would bring!

We awoke to the sound of the ferry's passenger announcement and didn't need much encouragement to get downstairs to breakfast! Breakfast on board is a grand affair, a massive hot buffet of anything you can think of for your plate. Also there is cereal, yoghurt and fresh fruit! Scrummy :-)

With bags packed and cabin checked for leftovers we queued our way down the stairs to get to where our bikes were safely stashed and stowed! Beside us the motorbikes were revving and raring to go... their engines growled as the offloading started and we madly honked our horns to the amusement of the bikers who waved and honked in reply...

It was soon our turn to ride off the ferry and we freewheeled down the ramp and onto Dutch soil, once again honking and cheering. Passport control were so relaxed that there was nobody there! So we cycled out of the Europort and re-grouped into our teams on the other side of the barrier! Bikes were checked and any necessary tweaking or adjustments were done... and then we were off...

Cycling along the block-paved surface, we snaked along behind Mark, finally joining the cycle track and pedalling alongside the wind turbines, standing tall and graceful along the banks of the river....

It wasn't long before the flat, easy ride we'd been looking forward to became strewn with obstacles - concrete barriers to be precise! Yes - the Dutch had decided to close the cycle track for work (the nature of which was unclear) and so we were stopped, literally, in our tracks! And yet... not to be put off and more to the point with no other known route, we decided to proceed! Yep - over we went... girls, bikes, panniers and all! There were not just one, but three of these concrete barriers! Waist high, butted up against a fence on one side and a wall on the other... the only way was up! We dismounted and one by one we climbed over and lifted the bikes up and over too... even Andy's tandem, complete with daffodil!!

Eventually, three barricades and one full height wire security fence later, we were finally able to get properly underway... Onward girls - to the ferry! Once over the river it was onwards through some gorgeous villages towards Delft..

This section is gorgeous and a pleasure for us all! We pedal swiftly along down the block-paved streets, honking our horns and calling 'hello' to the locals! We wave at the children and generally revel in good-humoured banter!

We stopped in Shuipladen (?) at about 11am for a break and to stock up on supplies, namely Mars Bars from the local supermarket! We take the chance to try and spot where we are on the map - a useful idea as we would later find out!

Soon we were off again and it wasn't long before we found another obstruction in our path - a building site! The cycle track was plainly visible, on the other side of security gates and a half-submerged crane! No way around it so we had to go through it... undeterred we managed to get the bikes around the gates and across the sand to the cycle track and then saddled up and rode off as though we did this every day...

We pedalled on though towns and villages, following the cycle tracks, occasionally stopping for a drink or a comfort break! The homes are all gorgeous, all well kept and each with their very own outside space! No matter how small the yard or how large the garden, each home has its outside space set up ....

Of course today is Saturday so there are always plenty of people out and about, sitting or pottering in the garden or otherwise going about their business! It's a really happy ride today, a good feeling! Sunshine, blue skies and good company! It wasn't long before our thoughts turned to lunch and we started looking for the familiarity of Valkenburg Meer, not realising that we were taking a different route...

We soon came to an open sandy area and headed off through sand dunes along a smooth block-paved track, passing pedestrians and cyclists and leading out into a wasteland of drifting white sand and dry grasses... The wind which had been with us all day was more noticeable here and we leaned into the wind and stepped up the effort required to pedal along...

As we cycled the team became more and more spread out... the pressure to keep going was intense and we found ourselves battling long, drawn out slopes which drained our reserves and took ages to conquer... we would finally reach the top and then sigh with dismay as yet another slope loomed before us... 

(If you look closely you can see white dots (cyclists) along the road travelling uphill from left to right!)

We pushed on, energised by the thought of lunch, trying not to think of the undulating dunes and hoping we'd be clear of them soon...

It became a struggle... both mental and physical!

Some of us found that keeping our head down was the only way to do it whilst others struggled to simply keep moving forwards... all the time heading into the gusting wind... We became too spread out to call out encouragement to keep focussed!!

At one point I could see nobody ahead of me for miles, and when I turned around there was nobody behind me either! My legs felt like lead weights and my mind was playing tricks on me... what if the track split? Which way should I go? What if I had already missed a turning? What if I was lost and they didn't notice? I had no choice but to trust myself and pedal on... believing that there were friends ahead and more friends behind...

Eventually I saw them, stopped at the side of the track, waiting for me... they were resting and waiting and the front riders had been there a while. I gratefully (and gingerly) got off my bike and straightened my aching legs... I looked back down the track and could see nobody coming up behind me... I took a long drink from my bottle (which had been hard to do whilst cycling uphill into the wind!) and had the last somewhat mangled cereal bar from my saddlebag!

Once again I looked back and saw a lone figure in the distance, Sandra, head down, battling along! She got closer and closer until she pulled in behind me... exhausted and close to tears... She looked at me and I gave her a big hug! It's surprising what a boost we get from being with the team - and how much we miss it when we get split up!

After what seemed like ages, more figures were seen in the distance and another couple of riders pulled up, followed a long way after that by Andy and the last of the team! Whilst the latest arrivals rested Andy rode forward to discuss tactics with Mark whilst we waited in the blazing sun... at least whilst we stood still, the wind was welcome!!

We set off again determined to keep up, no matter what it took! After a while we came to a junction and paused to check the way but couldn't stop long due to flying ants swarming round our ankles... we hopped back on our bikes and carried on! Mark called back that he'd had contact from Gary and we were just a short distance away from them... The other team had arrived at the lunch rendezvous and were waiting for us... This spurred us on and we pedalled along the last of the track and out onto a seaside promenade... littered with bikes and weary cyclists... it was 4.30 in the afternoon!

The van with lunch eventually arrived and its fantastic driver had to get straight off to go and meet Rich's team who were in Valkenburg waiting for their lunch too! Lunch was in a box from P and O Ferries - their lunches are always marvellous! Thank heaven today was no exception! Sandwiches, crisps, hard boiled egg with salt and pepper sachets, an apple, an orange, a cereal bar, carton of juice, a bag of 6x mini-muffins, and a danish pastry! Fantastic!! Just what we needed! God Bless P and O :-)

A decent break and a chatter was much needed to fill up our reserves of energy AND morale!

Gary's team set off first as they had arrived sooner but we soon had to ring them to ask that they wait for us... Our SatNav system wasn't working and we had no way to find where we needed to be - the map was useful to a point but not practical to cycle with and we couldn't keep stopping as it was already late in the day and we needed to make good time from here on in...

It was decided that we would join up with Gary's team and make one huge snake of bikes, with Gary at our head, Sian at our tail and with Mark and Andy at intervals in between!

Spirits lifted at once - the more the merrier was true! We set off, winding our way along the roads, turning this way and that, following faithfully until we reached the familiar sight of the canalside cycleway and the pretty little houses lined up alongside! The sky was blue, the wind had dropped (a little) and Sandra and I knew that this stretch was beautiful and easy!

'How are ya feelin.?' came the familiar cry... 'Gorgeous!' we all shouted in reply! Energy surged through the team as we charged madly forward and set a fine pace! Those who had not been with us from the start were surprised into silence!

The miles sped by as we made good time, crossing roads where necessary and stopping only when we had to! We knew that we were doing well!!

Then disaster! One of the girls collided with a bollard in the middle of the track and as she came off another girl hit her and cycled over the top of her... Sian radioed ahead and we all stopped whilst the ride guides helped to get them up and check them over... Fortunately nothing broken (riders or bikes) but a split lip to be tended! So it wasn't long before we were on our way... only to be stopped less than 10 minutes later when one of the girls, still shaken up, wobbled and came off again! She was fine, no worries, so all back on the road again...

Then we saw the aerial launch ramp at the Lifeboat Station... we had been looking out for it and having not seen it we assumed that we had passed it miles back but just not noticed!! We felt instantly deflated as we realised just how far we still had to go! We pedalled on in silence for a while... but couldn't resist the banter for long!

Soon the city advanced and the cycle track gave way to bustling streets and pavements, busy enough but thankfully quieter than usual due to the hour... One of the team had arranged to catch a train from Amsterdam to Brussels that evening and so two of the guides escorted her to the station, leaving Gary at our head and Sian at our tail...

We attract quite some attention, a long line of girls all snaking along... ;-) With Gary being the only guy with 40 girls, he got some looks too (secretly I think he liked that!).

Cycling through the Amsterdam Forest was quite surreal...

still and quiet and cool... cycling through parks and seeing people out to enjoy their Saturday evening... barbeques cooking, families having fun, children running and playing... even lovers, hoping for peace amongst the shady trees... and instead being jolted from their seclusion by a line of 40 cyclists honking horns and shouting. 'WooHoo! We see you!!!!'

Onward and onward we pedal along, quieter now, tired and just wanting to get there...

Junctions become very frought affairs, desperate to stay together and not get separated... everyone is edgy and there are a few near misses as wheels touch and we bunch up a little too close...!

Once again disaster strikes... one girl is thrown off her bike as she clips the curb. The ride guides are already with her as we pass and they wave us ahead to where the rest of the group are waiting. We all take our bikes off the cycle track and wait patiently. Some of the team have seen blood and we speculate that she might need an ambulance! We watch and worry and wait...

We are only about three miles from the hostel but we know that we must have the ride guides to continue! They can't leave her but we see them bandaging her head and wonder if she is thinking of continuing the ride? Thankfully she had been wearing a helmet when she fell otherwise this could have been much worse! The bandage makes her helmet impossible to wear so the wrapping comes off and the helmet goes on! What a girl! Brave? Foolish? Who knows but she's back on her bike and ready for off!

We are all aware of the danger we are in... exhausted, hungry, keen now just to get there in one piece! The team are on alert, adrenaline is all that's keeping us going now! We call out to each other to leave space, we call out the lights 'Green Light! Good to Go' or 'Red Light, Stopping!!' Banter is abandoned as we focus on the serious job of getting everyone there with no further mishaps!

We ride on, finally reaching the Vondelpark where we know the hostel lies... it looms up through the trees and in silent relief we ride up to the gate... Riders dismount and quiet words are exchanged... no whooping, no tears of joy, no phone calls home... in complete contrast to last years triumphant arrival...

We made it... we're here... weak smiles... and a few tears... but more of relief than of joy...

Amsterdame10 - Day One

Wow! Can you believe it? A whole year has passed (to the day!) and here I am again!

Amsterdam beckons and 60 ladies are waiting for the off! York's McArthur Glen car park is filled with bikes and bags and yellow ride shirts, the air is filled with excited chatter!

We are checked-in, de-bagged (in the nicest possible way!) and grouped together for a team photo :-)

Next we were split into teams and got ready for the off...

last year I did the ride as part of a year of challenges for my 40th Birthday so you may wonder why was I back? Well I had such a brilliant time last year and the challenge was such an achievement that I just felt compelled to join in once more... so here I was! This year my ride buddies and cabin mates were Sandra and Wendy, friends made on last years ride :-)

We just knew we would have a great time!

One by one the teams set off to cheering and air horns set off by friends and family, all gathered to see us off! So the long line of girls wound our way out into the coubntryside, along cycle lanes and tracks heading off towards Market Weighton where we were scheduled for lunch...

As we pedalled we chatted and laughs went up and down the line. It soon became obvious that one of the characters of our team was Nikki, a self-confessed loud-mouthed Scouser! She was brilliant! She kept us entertained with her banter with Mark, our front ride guide and she had us all calling out in response to her chant 'How are ya feelin'?' to which we would shout 'Gorgeous' in reply... Spirits were high as we cycled along, weaving our way through leafy lanes...

We pulled over beside a road near Seaton Ross to have a drink and check someones tyres and the break was useful to stretch legs and fingers... morale was high... Although we had pulled off the road we were wary of traffic and had various systems in place to warn each other of hazards whilst cycling, these calls often stayed with us when off the road too!

As we waited beside the road a white van was seen coming around the corner and several shouts were heard 'VAN' we called, 'It's coming FAST' I shouted and with that it hurtled around the corner, its driver fighting to stay in control... its brakes screeched as it struggled to stay on the road... we held our breath as it just managed to get around the corner without hitting us... we were angry and relieved all at once - it could have ended so badly! He was gone in the blink of an eye with nothing more than a partial plate to go on...

Shaken but determined we saddled up and rode on, thinking ahead to lunch, with Nikki calling out her chant and getting a few choice words in return!

We arrived at the pub for lunch, chips and sarnies, good job too - we were ravenous, we could have eaten the same again!! All three teams met up here to exchange banter on the journey so far and tell tales of our near miss!!

Freshly filled and ready for the off the teams set off at intervals. Our only deadline was the ferry...

Heading for Hull we followed country lanes and cycled over footbridges, we even lost our way at one point and almost found our way into some private gardens!! We had a Blair Witch experience in the woods and were sure we heard the Hound of the Baskervilles and shots being fired!

We had another mini adventure in North Ferriby but eventually found our way onto the correct road to lead us under the Humber Bridge and alongside the estuary. The dockside apartments are very smart and the block paved walkways make for easy riding. We fly past The Deep and cross over steel walkways which link the areas on both sides of the waterways.

Before long the gleaming white ferry comes into view and we are spurred along... 'How are ya feelin'?' Nikki shouts... 'Gorgeous' we yell in reply! Faster we ride, along and around, with every push of the pedals bringing us closer to our overnight rest...

At last we make it and find ourselves lined up at Passport Control alongside some fabulous Harley Davidson motorbikes! Their gleaming chrome and immaculate paintwork testimony to the pride of their riders...

Finally they agreed to allow us out of the country so we pedalled furiously up the long and winding ramp onto the ferry... what a climb but we made it - without stopping! And honked our horns wildly at the joy! Bikes locked and safely stowed we claimed our baggage from the support van and went off to find our cabins...

Get fed, get settled and get some sleep was the order of the evening... after a stroll on deck and a bevvy in the bar of course!

ONE Sleep...

ONE Sleep?
What happened to TWO sleeps?
I'm sure I've missed a day somewhere!

Well yesterday was a busy one but I should have made time for a quickie!

Anyway, at least my bike has had a once over at the bike shop, the majority of everything is packed (apart from really last minute stuff!) and I think... dare I say it... I'm ready!

The rain has given way to sunnier skies and although it's a little blustery I'm quietly confident for a good trip! (Excluding, of course, the hill at Brantingham which will, once again force me to abandon my pedaling and bear the shame of walking up!).

So, tomorrow we're off!
Am I excited? Oh yes!
Will I miss everyone? Hell yes!!
So why am I going?

Because it's an amazing adventure and because we wanna raise some good money for this superb charity!

Please support me online at www.justgiving.com/amsterdame10  just quote 'poshpinkblog' in the message box! Thankyou!

I will be blogging and tweeting my way around (follow me on Twitter 'Poshpinkellie').

So, one sleep left... Better make it a good one!

Wish me luck :-)

Three Sleeps...

OMG! What is there still to do before Friday?

1) Ride my bike to the bike shop for final tweaking and pumping!

2) Final gathering of all required washkit and medication... cos you know you're gonna be the one that everyone asks cos they expect you to have what they need!

3) Frantic accumulation of enough unerwear and socks to last the five days, now taking into account the possibility that we will be soaking wet and need changes of socks several times per day!

4) Secret hoarding of Haribo and Tangfastics without the kids knowledge...

5) Last minute currency swap (at the Post Office probably cos they're closest)!

... My head is spinning now so I'm off before it explodes! Lol ;-)

Four Sleeps...

Well it's that time again! Just FOUR SLEEPS to go and I'll be setting off once more on the cycling challenge that is Amsterdame10!

A round trip of 250 miles from York to Amsterdam and back again by bicycle! There are 60 of us going again this year and we are hoping to raise £30,000 for Marie Curie Cancer Care - it looks like we're halfway towards our total already!

The bike is getting its final tweaks at the bike shop in Wednesday and my packing is gonna have a damn good go at getting packed on Wednesday too! Lol ;-)

I'm determined not to have the same luggage issues as last year when I took 'one small holdall' as instructed and carried everything else in my panniers on my bike! Never again! Everyone else had brought a much larger bag and carried nothing on their bike!! This year that will be me! Lol!!

Watch this space...

When You Just Know...

Sometimes you just know when you buy a new top that it's gonna look just fab!

Well imagine my excitement when I found just such a top in a fifteen minute shopping spree to find something to wear for Saturday night!

It's design means that it is perfectly suited to big boobs (not all tops are!) and I just knew I would love it! More to the point - I knew my man would love it too!

So, I tried it on tonight with the skirt and shoes I plan to wear for Saturday night... OMG I love it!

The whole outfit makes me feel sexy and sassy and it had just the right effect on hubbie too!

Roll on Saturday night! ;-)

The Penny Drops...

I've just had a lightbulb moment!

You know when somebody says something that makes you feel like a light has been switched on?

Well all those jobs which have been plaguing me for months are now under threat!

I'm gonna make a list (lists are the saviour of the Common Man don't you think?) of all of those jobs and stick it to the door! THEN I'm gonna do ONE JOB every night!

They are mainly small jobs and should take no more than half an hour each but I'll feel good that things are getting done and once I start something then it doesn't matter if it takes more than half an hour because for me it's the 'getting started' that's the hardest part!!

Of course once I've done a few I'll feel really good and that should push me to do more...

Right, where's my pen...

Fight Back...

Sometimes, when you allow yourself to dream... plans get made! Plans cause excitement and energy builds...

You go to bed on a high, full of hope and ideas, almost unable to sleep, wanting to start the wheels in motion...

The morning comes and you're full of anticipation! You get out of bed... and life smacks you in the face!

You shelve the ideas, curb the excitement and bank the energy! Suddenly there seems so much do to that all the good stuff gets set aside... postponed... cancelled...

Well sometimes you have to let yourself be selfish!

Sometimes you have to make those plans and follow through BEFORE you hit the ground... BEFORE you lose that energy and BEFORE you lose the will...

Grasp that energy...
Make those plans...
Live Your Life!

Vita-life!!

I was just thinking back to my weekend in Margate and the fun that Caitlin and I had with a man and his theodolite..

They are building a brand new art gallery in Margate - The Turner Gallery - costing £10m.

As we walked along the sea front we found three theodolites, one on each side of a T-junction. As we walked past one I noticed that it was unattended and thought I'd take the chance to look through it - I've always wanted to know what you can see!

As I looked through I noticed that its opposite partner - the theodolite across the junction - had a man looking back at me!! Thinking I might be in trouble I quickly stepped aside but then in a flash of wickedness I decided to give him something to look at and threw my boobs into his line of vision!

He looked up stunned and we dashed away laughing!

Life just gets better with age :-)

I am braver now than I have ever been!
I have seen more now, than I have ever seen!
I will dare to try that which I never dared,
I will stand tall and and dare to be dared!

I will push myself and drive my will,
I will look forward and time will tell,
I can do anything,
I can achieve,
All that it takes
Is that I believe...

To Be or Not To Be...

That is the question!

If something is meant to be then I truly believe it will happen. Whether it happens on my timescale or not is another matter! But then they say 'Patience is a Virtue' Lol ;-)

Fate has contrived events of all kinds and if Fate has a hand in my future, as I'm sure she does, then I open my arms and welcome her!

Where to Sit on a Train?

So, here I am sitting on a train to Margate! I'm off to visit my life-long buddy Caitlin for the weekend! Yipppee!!
The train from Selby was absolutely packed and I am so pleased that I reserved my seat!
Every place was taken so heaven knows where (if anywhere) I would have sat otherwise!!
Anyway, the train from Kings Cross to Margate is so far almost empty... but therein lies the problem!
If a carriage is almost empty - where do you sit?
Obviously not anywhere near the odd looking guy with greasy hair and staring eyes!
Moving down the almost empty carriage there are only two sets of seats with tables. I like sitting on trains with tables!
But what if the train fills up and someone else wants to sit at the table too? What if they smell bad (like the lady on the last train with strong perfume!)? What if they want to talk all the time?
So, should I sit in a 'two' seat? There is less space but it is less likely to attract a fellow passenger - and I could always drop down the mini-table and pretend it's bigger!!
But there are so few people on the train... and I am one of the first ones here... so why shouldn't I have a table seat?
I decide to be brave and I boldly park my suitcase under the table and park my bum in the aisle seat beside it!
There!
By sitting in the aisle seat I decide that I am effectively blocking the window seat beside me and therefore if the train does start to fill up at least I have a chance of keeping some reasonable space around me!
So, we're off! The train is still reasonably empty and I have a table all to myself!
I am sitting back watching the green fields fly past in the spring sunshine (well actually we're in a tunnel at the moment but it didn't sounds as good!).
But my lovely cuppa from the ever-so-chatty lady in Pret is just grand! And it's also my first one of the day so even more welcome :-)
The sunshine really is streaming in through the windows now... I'm enjoying this!
Fancy! I could have been all cramped up in a two-seat! Lol :-)